Category: Uncategorized

Exploring Kahumanu Farms in Waianae, Hawaii

There’s something about food that enchants me. I love cooking, eating, but more recently, have become increasingly interested in where food comes from.

I’m blessed to live somewhere where farming can be done year round and have been spending the past several months researching farms around Oahu. I found out about Kahumanu Farms at work – the residents in our senior living community were planning a trip there, and I didn’t want to miss out on all of the fun, so I scheduled my own trip there!

My friend Kaley was my adventure companion for the day as we drove out to West Oahu for Kahumanu Farm’s Open House. Lucky for us, this particular day’s farm tour was free, so we were able to enjoy learning more about local agriculture for free.

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Kahumanu Farm is tucked away on Lualualei Homestead Road in the Lualualei Valley in Waianae. This particular day was sunny and warm, but a cool breeze made the temperature pleasant. We were greeted promptly by a farmhand letting us know where to park. We then checked in for the tour and were given the go-ahead to look around the property before the tour started.

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It turns out that Kahumanu has been around since the 1970s. It first opened as an intentional life-sharing community for those who are differently-abled. They expanded in the 80s to include group homes and started a transitional housing program for homeless, which still runs today.

In addition to growing close to 100,000 pounds of organic food a year, Kahumanu continues to support efforts for vulnerable populations including the homeless, disabled and youth. They have a learning center, a café (which I can’t wait to go back and try one day!), a commercial kitchen and even lodging spaces for those who need an alternative accommodation or retreat!

Before our tour started, we were welcomed into one of the retreat houses for refreshments by some of the farm staff. They had graciously prepared homemade hummus and veggies, pulled pork sliders, banana bread and poi mochi. We were able to wash it down with a refreshing hibiscus ice tea. We noticed some of the people who were staying in the bed and breakfast-like lodgings seems relaxed and to be communing with nature and those living and working on the farm.

We began our tour with our extremely knowledgeable guide Kristen. She blew us away with her farming knowledge, and also her expertise of Hawaiian land and customs. We toured the main farm which included a dragon fruit patch, a hurricane-resistant fruit tree orchard and a chicken coop. We were able to sample the farm’s salad greens (which they sell to a lot of restaurants in Honolulu) and carrots.

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After our samples, we all jumped into our cars and followed the tour guide a mile and half up the road, further into the mountains, to another piece of land that was recently entrusted to them by a former resident who has since passed on. Upon receiving the land several years ago, they prepared it by hand to grow food. Their hard work in being stewards of the land and practicing sustainable and regenerative organic farming is palpable. Their farmers are committed to the lifestyle, but more importantly, feeding people healthy and delicious food that’s grown in their own backyard.

We walked through the different fields growing carrots, salad greens, fruit trees and beets. We also were able to feed their goats and view their beautiful taro bed.

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At the end of the tour, we were invited to view a video they recently produced about the farm and the good work that they do.

Unfortunately, the café was closed that day due to a farm fundraising dinner, but I can’t wait to come back and try their famous macadamia nut pesto, salads and lilkoi cheesecake!

If you’re a visitor to Oahu or simply a resident looking for a fun and informative afternoon on the farm, make the drive and go visit. It’s enriching to walk the earth where our nourishment comes from and empowering to learn how to better feed and take care of ourselves!

To learn more about Kahumanu Farms, visit https://www.kahumana.org/.

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Do You Think You’re Brave?

2.jpgI never thought that I was brave. When I was a busgirl at one of my first jobs at a country club, I was timid. I was afraid of the other waitresses who were older, most experienced, smoked cigarettes, had kids and second jobs. I felt small around their exposed tattoos and shared stories about Poison concerts.

I’d work in the all-men’s room where swearing, excessive drinking, and avoiding wives was a favorite pastime of our members. I would fear the ass-grabbing, snide comments and remarks of “Honey, get me a drink.” Still, I grinned and bore it. The tips were good, and after all, where else would I work?

Being brave at home didn’t come easy. Everyone has a role in their family, and mine was caretaker. I helped raise my siblings from the time they were in diapers. I was a teenager. I enjoyed a lot of freedoms, but not at the expense of being guilted into familial obligations. I had to muster the courage to stand up for something I really wanted, and when I couldn’t get it, well, that’s just the way it was.

It’s safe to say that I wasn’t a very brave little girl, either. When I was little during rolling Midwest thunderstorms, I’d hide under the blankets fearing the roof would blow off. I’d tell myself God was bowling, just how Grandma Jean used to tell me.

I grew in college but was still timid around new people and situations. I joined clubs and academic organizations. I wrote for the college newspaper. Yet, I was always eager for the meeting to be over with. I didn’t want to over extend myself at the expense of looking silly. I couldn’t speak up at the editorial meetings out of fear of sounding stupid. I never really got anywhere leadership-wise because I didn’t really believe that I could offer anything more valuable than the others. I earned my good grades and graduated.

What came next was a shock. My college relationship was one that meant so much to me. It came to an end, and my core was shook. When it was pulled away, I reeled.

The breakup was the turning point of discovering something bigger within myself. Looking back on it now, I’m actually grateful. I wonder back to how different my life would be if that relationship played out. I pray to my lucky stars that it never did play out, because it was an unhealthy relationship and I was of an unhealthy mindset.

When I was done letting life shit on me, I decided to muster up some bravery. Bravery never came naturally to me, so at first, I faked it. I announced a cross-country move. I stood up to my mom who was appalled and non-supportive, but eventually relented. I took all the savings out of my bank account and geared up for a new life. I summoned bravery and it took me places.

Traveling and living different places took a lot of bravery, but it’s not the type of bravery that lasts. It’s a good “high” to live in and discover somewhere new. But even new places lose their novelty. After traveling and living all over the place, I grew tired of reinventing myself. I wanted consistency and community back. I decided it was time to put down roots.

I’ve been living in Hawaii for four years and I’m getting ready for a big transition in my life: getting married to the love of my life. Since leaving home, I had been looking for bravery in novelty, but I’m beginning to realize that it’s been within me all along. I don’t have to be moving mountains to think I’m brave. I don’t have to be living off the beaten path to be considered brave.

Waking up every day to face life and its challenges is brave. Doing the sometimes excruciating work of self-discovery and healing is brave. Admitting you have a problem in some area of your life is brave. Working to find a solution to that problem is brave. Setting out on a new chapter even though you’re scared and really don’t know what or how you’ll get along and trusting you’ll be fine is brave. Giving it another shot, day after day, is brave.

The answer to whether or not I’m brave is yes.  The timid little girl is finding bravery in all the old places within herself, places where it’s always been, always belonged. She belongs there, too.

Living it up as a #YelpElite

What can I say? Living in Hawaii and being a Yelp Elite has its perks!

I first became a Yelp Elite in 2015. I slowly began attending events, but not regularly. It was more of sporadic thing for me.

Now that I’m a gung-ho Yelp Elite, I’ve been getting more active and involved in the community – and I must say, it’s really paying off!

To answer the most common question I receive, “How did you become a Yelp Elite, and how do you get to go to all of these amazing events for free?”

Easy: I write Yelp reviews! Luckily for me, our awesome community manager Emi sought me out to be a Yelp Elite. All I had to to do was fill out a brief form, and my by the grace of the Yelp gods, I was accepted into the Elite crowd!

Through my tenure as a Yelp Elite, I’ve been able to attend the movies, the opera, free dinner parties, concerts, and more. Some Yelp Elite events are extra special, though.

Here’s three extra-awesome Yelp Elite events I’ve been able to attend:

1. Dinner and cocktails at Stripsteak Waikiki: This event did not allow for a plus one, and I was better off for it. I was able to throw myself right into the mingling and get to know my fellow Yelp Elites. I didn’t realize how many interesting, fun, and wonderful people Yelp Elites were! They are all walks of life – young teachers, retired state workers, and everyone in between!

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The swanky vibe at Stripsteak Waikiki

Stripsteak Waikiki is Chef Mina’s new restaurant at the International Marketplace, and this place certainly is swanky! We were able to try some of their gourmet bites like lobster pot pie, Wagyu steak, and foie gras. The venue didn’t disappoint – the ambiance was just right: outdoor, under the stars with the nice trade winds blowing.

2. Yelp Flight Club – Pacific Aviation Museum: Anytime you’re granted access to somewhere typically off-limits usually means a recipe for a great night. The Pacific Aviation Museum’s Flight Club Party was on Ford Island, a military base that requires special clearance for entrance.

Me and my other half were able to drive around the beautiful island taking pictures of the sunset before the event. The event itself? Simply marvelous! Imagine a swanky and upbeat party in a museum gallery full of 1940’s air crafts. It was the party of dreams!

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I want that leather flight jacket!

We had pupus like tacos, garlic chicken, ahi poke, and dessert like chocolate, ice cream, and Popsicles. The open bar wasn’t a bad addition either!

We had fun exploring the gift shop- especially lusting after the authentic aviation leather jackets.

3. Day at the Beach at the Shriner’s Club in Waimanalo: So many times driving up the highway we unknowingly passed by this incredible beachfront property. You are only able to access it as a guest of a Shriner’s Club member, and luckily, fellow Yelp Eliter Victoria’s husband was able to sponsor us as guests for the day.

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Check out this view! Waterfront beach bbq day!

This event was a fun, relaxing Sunday getting to know more about the community members which make Yelp Hawaii so special. We shared lunch pot-luck style next to the ocean, played a few games of volleyball, and had lots of laughs. Thank you Victoria and Aggie for putting this Sunday Funday together!

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New friends thanks to Yelp!

Overall, I’m grateful to be a Yelp Elite. It’s helping expose me to the many wonderful places on Oahu, and more importantly, helping me to forge friendships with the beautiful people here.

Why Helpx Still Excites Me 4 Years Later

It’s been 4 years since I’ve traveled full-time using Helpx.net, but after curiously poking around on their site again, it looks like things have only grown and gotten better and better for them – and for the travelers who use their site.

You might remember this throwback post: Workaway vs. Helpx: Which do you use when planning a working holiday?  This post is actually my most popular to date, and it’s easy to imagine why: Who wouldn’t want to live in and work in paradise (From Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii, Austria, France, the U.S. and more) for a nice family/farm in exchange for somewhere to stay…all while having the time and money to explore?

 

 

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Check out all of these thousands of listings in Australia.

 

 

I’ve used Helpx twice and had the best experiences of my life.

In Australia, I stayed with a family in Ipswich, Queensland, not a far train ride from Brisbane. For two weeks, I had my own room, was fed gourmet meals (the dad was a chef!), was taken to locals-only swimming holes, parks, and beaches. I had the time of my life. All I did was work 4 hours a day/a few days a week, and I had the richest, most local experience ever. I remember one day, while relaxing on their outdoor porch, seeing a flock of wild cockatoos fly by. I’ll never forget it!

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This is one of my favorite shots taken near the Gold Coast in Australia. Who took me there? You guessed it: My host family!

Then there was Hawaii, a Helpx experience I loved so much, I still live in the state 4 years later! I lived and worked at a eco-hostel on the Big Island. I picked fruit, built trails, planted trees, but best of all, made amazing lifelong friendships and one-of-a-kind memories. I had free WiFi, and it was under the thatched roof my dwelling I published some of my first travel stories. My time at Hedonisia Hawaii will go down as some of my best memories to date.

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Wild tropical flowers foraged from around the property – perfect for Ikebana! Look at those rare orchids! (Left)

If anyone is on the fence about a Helpx experience, I highly recommend you go for it. Pay the membership fee: it’s totally worth it. Weigh the following options:

  • Proximity to a city
  • Transportation
  • Accommodations (Plenty of places offer private rooms and even private bathrooms!)
  • Are meals included? My stay in Australia had meals included, but I was on my own in Hawaii. There were always plenty of shared meals, though.
  • Responsiveness/helpfulness of host
  • Will there be other travelers there to meet?
  • Is there WiFi? Many places have it.
  • How long are they looking for you to stay? Many hosts actually prefer longer guests.

With all the talk nowadays of being a digital nomad, Helpx is certainly a viable way to achieve that. If my lifestyle hadn’t shifted and I was still on the road, I’d do Helpx again in a heartbeat. Please use it and travel deeply!

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This post was not sponsored, nor am I getting compensated for it. I really just love Helpx and the memories it helped me create.

 

Shine on you crazy diamond: Observations on life nearing 30

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I’ve often thought that in order to speak about anything from a place of authority, you had to be 30, or at least close to it.

Well here it is.

I’m coming up to my 30th year, and things that seemed so impossible to figure out are only now beginning to make sense. Life’s mysteries and lessons are beginning to reveal themselves to me.

The worst thing about your 20s is everything. The best thing about your 20s? Everything.

After I graduated college, I wanted to be “one of them.” I so badly wanted a job in public relations, so I could get someone else’s point across, be a sassy Chicago office girl. Or I would write nonsensical news bits on the Frisky, which now I see how pointless that would have been.

I thought I’d manicure my nails, marry my college sweetheart, rise to the top. In every version of my old self, I was some hard-nosed Chicago bitch that accepted the status quo, or a shitty job, shitty weather, or all three of those things.

Yeah, that didn’t happen.

Now I’m stretching my aching back on mornings before my bus commute to work in Honolulu. My neck has a permanent crick in it, and I’ve already had skin cancer removed. I lived hard and fast in my 20s, and I don’t regret a moment of it.

I got an internship at an advertising agency right out of college. I thought I’d become some savvy marketer, a slick bitch with a grin and gimmick. I’d write copy that’d make the masses swoon.

Okay, so I was more of a fresh-faced, slightly scared, but no-doubt talented writer. Nonetheless, undeserving of the scathing shit scorn I’d get from one of my “mentors.”

Back then, it being my first job and all, after a few months at it I figured everyone just fucked everything up all the time. It wasn’t until now, today, 6 years later, that I realize I wasn’t fucking shit up. I was seen, as most talented and driven people are: as a threat.

Every headline I wrote was bad. Everything I did was sent back. Every press release that looked perfect was met with a prompt email (which made me think she hadn’t even READ it yet) that coyly said “Nice try.”

I put up with it for six months. I wrote headlines and copy that eventually got picked up in print by big clients. But around the time my internship was going to end, and lead to what I thought would be a full-time job with a raise, my bitch mentor told me that they were extending my internship because I hadn’t done well enough, hadn’t performed to their expectations.

I quit the next day. And today, for the first time since I quit that job, I realize that there was never anything fundamentally wrong with me or my headlines. I interned at the Chicago Sun-Times before I got that job. I quickly went on, after quitting, to being published in the Philadelphia Inquirer. I was good.

They were bad: bad leaders, bad examples. SHE was a bad mentor who made me believe bad things about myself as a person, and as a writer, for a very long time.

Around the same time I was tolling away at a place that fucked with my mind as a young writer and working professional, I was hopelessly dumped by my college sweetheart, whom I adored lovingly, out of the blue. I was utterly crushed for an entire year.

I spent so many nights crying in bed, wondering why he didn’t love me anymore. I envisioned a future with him. It wasn’t fair! Beyond fairness though: Again, someone made me believe that I was a bad woman. Undeserving of love.

I did what any self-loathing, but driven person would do – I got out of dodge.

I lived a whirlwind of adventures, was published in tons of magazines and websites, and lived the life of my dreams. I went to places people only dreamed about.

I questioned my sanity on the hard days. Was I really living in a camper, showering sometimes with cold water, getting drunk on PBR beers? Was I really living in a motel room for a winter before I permanently relocated back to Hawaii?

The answer was yes. I did do all of those crazy things, and much more, many things of which I might be too ashamed to ever even write about. But yet, as I’m coming up my thirtieth year, I can’t help but see so many doors from my past hurts and mistakes shutting with closure for good.

Fast-forward to today. I live and work in urban Honolulu, Hawaii. I live in my own apartment, pay my own rent. I have a job in marketing where my boss and the CEO are the most giving, amazing, non-judgmental people I ever met. Wherever there’s a chance to improve, I’m never met with a “Nice try,” but rather, “Let’s work on this together.” Everything I do is beyond appreciated. I’m good at it because I love it, and I love it because they love me and my contributions. I’m in a happy and positive work environment for the first time in my life.

In addition to that, I’m writing freelance travel articles. My clients are big nowadays: Expedia, Travelocity, Mapquest. I used to believe I wasn’t good enough to write for them. That same negative thought even crossed my mind the other day when I was commissioned to write a piece for Travelocity. My old editor said, “I’d love to work with you again. I love your writing, especially your narratives,” and I thought, “She’s just saying that…” No, she’s not just saying that. She believes it. And I finally do, too.

Recently, I had a coming full-circle moment. I casually checked my email on my phone. A typical “People you should connect with” LinkedIn email was in my inbox. Usually I delete these spammy messages, but this time I opened it.

The last person on the list, a LinkedIn 3rd connection (how do they even quantify that shit?), was my ex-boyfriend who crushed me so many years ago.

I felt like I was sucker-punched.

I immediately logged into LinkedIn to find out as many details as my brain could absorb.

I was unusually starved for information, you see. After he so cruelly dumped me out of the blue, we continued “trying to make it work” (admittedly, we just had sex) for a year after the breakup. One day, after having the same fight we always did, he stormed out my house and left me there, crying. I never saw or heard from him again.

Over the years, I tried looking him up a few times on Google and Facebook never to any avail. This was the first time I had confirmation that he was even living in 5 years.

And so, here I am, working my amazing job, living my amazing life (with my incredible new boyfriend, as it is) simultaneously rehashing the hurts of my past, again, via a LinkedIn 3rd connection. How could someone you once knew so intimately, someone into whose eyes you gazed when you professed your love to them, in the same lifetime become a mere third-tier connection on LinkedIn? Is life so bleak?

Turns out, he’s been living a rather boring existence. He transitioned into IT after majoring in English (where we met in college). He worked for a handful of companies in and around the Chicagoland area. He now works at some startup in Denver. He’s bald, unimpressive looking. His picture is devoid of any primary colors, and things are, for him anyway, much of the same.

This is all taken from a LinkedIn profile, mind you, so my assumptions about his life trajectory can only go as far as a 3rd tier connection will permit, but you get the picture.

I was slighted for a few days. I pondered the meaning of it all. I felt a bit sad, and hurt came and went, then came again.

But what I felt next was transcendental. When I really got to thinking about how far I’ve come since he dumped me, I felt assurance that the pain I experienced because of him started me on my journey to finding my life’s purpose. I felt closure.

I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Through the late nights, the cry sessions, the miles traveled, the people met, the jobs had, all of it conspired to bring me here, to this very point, to make these very real musings about the eventually and mysticism of life.

The moral of the story, from what I’ve pieced together through thinking about my early twenties until now, is this: Never let anyone, especially shit suckers and heart breakers, hold you back from the good things you are most certainly destined for in your life. People will be jealous of your successes. They will want to see you sit and listen to the same tape on repeat over and over again (like they do) for the rest of your life. People will dump you and not tell you why. You’ll have a mean boss, a boring job, or any other mess of circumstances in between.

The real work comes in when you decide to achieve anyway. You’ll emerge stronger, and you will reach further in the direction of your dreams. The power was in you all along. Don’t let some unhappy house mom or balding IT guy steal it from you. Bask in your sunshine, sweetie, and let the world see how fucking bright you can shine.

A day at the Waikiki Aquarium

When one comes to visit Hawai’i, the last thing on their mind is visiting an aquarium. “Why would I visit the aquarium when I could just jump in the ocean and see a living aquarium?” Great question, but let me answer you this way. The Waikiki Aquarium showcases dozens of coral species and fish, crustaceans, sea horses, sea dragons, pipefish, predators, and ocean life from the Northwestern Hawaiian islands you just can’t see on the main islands.

The most impressive spread were the variety of colorful living corals. All the corals are thriving under conditions simulated to be the ocean in its most pristine, healthy state. The key takeaway for me was that I have never seen such beautiful, developed, colorful and healthy coral in the wild. It was amazing to see what coral could look like in the more remote reefs and atolls of the Northwestern Hawaiian Islands. It was equally amazing to imagine what our reefs on O’ahu can and will look like when we are ready to transplant species back to where they belong.

Here are some photos I took at the aquarium. I would highly recommend this visit for any visitor to Hawai’i, especially before jumping into the ocean. It’s great to learn about the underwater world and its fragile ecosystem before diving in.

The Waikiki Aquarium is the 2nd oldest public aquarium in the country
The Waikiki Aquarium is the 2nd oldest public aquarium in the country
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An angelfish indigenous only to the Hawaiian islands swims by a colorful reef
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Sea anemone attract clown fish and other species of fish to its predatory confines
Hawaiian island reef life
Hawaiian island reef life
South Pacific reef life
South Pacific reef life

Yellow striped pipefish
Yellow striped pipe fish
Jellyfish in the "drifters" exhibit
Jellyfish in the “drifters” exhibit
Beautiful coral exhibits
Beautiful coral exhibits
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A sampling of the vibrant underwater world you can experience through thriving coral reefs
This Hawaiian Monk Seal has been at the aquarium for 31 years!
This Hawaiian Monk Seal has been at the aquarium for 31 years!

Next time you have a rainy day in Hawaii, or are just looking for a getaway to see something beautiful, check out the Waikiki Aquarium. You won’t be disappointed! They also have a predator exhibit with sharks and a vast educational/conservation exhibit, as well.

Tips for Exercising with your Dog

Fido is man’s best friend for a reason. He is loyal, cute and a fur ball of energy. To keep your beloved four-legged friend his happiest and healthiest, exercising your dog must be in your daily routine. Dogs have special needs when it comes to staying active. Follow these steps to ensure you’re getting the most out of your time with your pup.

Pono and I on a hike together in Hawaii
Pono and I on a hike together in Hawaii

Check the weather: This sounds like a no-brainer, but often times dogs are left in hot cars for long periods of time unattended causing overheating and even death. Also, while on a run or a hike, a dog is exerting him/herself just like you. Cold winter months can be brutal on not only you, but on your pup. Visit your local pet store and buy a coat for you dog if necessary. In areas where it snows, salt might be dropped on the sidewalk or street to prevent people from slipping. Be mindful that winter salt is hurtful and harmful to your dog’s paws. Always think about how you like to dress and prepare for the day outside and make sure to follow suit with caring for your dog.

Pono loves the snow, but we had to limit how long he could stay out
Pono loves the snow, but we had to limit how long he could stay out

Mind your city’s off-leash rules: It might be tempting in some areas to let your dog off the leash for a full-blown run, but before you free Fido, learn the local leash laws of your area. Leash laws are not meant to limit the fun you and your furry friend can have together, but actually work to protect the two of you. Factors such as aggressive dogs, small children, wild animals and traffic can turn even the most innocent run or hike into a chaotic situation. In many areas if you’re caught by the authorities with your dog off the leash you’ll likely face a hefty fine. Do yourself a favor and follow the rules.

Offer plenty of water and food: Just like when you go for a jog or swim, you burn calories and work up to chugging about a gallon of water. Given that your dog is right by your side, make sure you bring water and a small bowl for them to drink out of. Water should be kept cool if possible and must absolutely be clean. Try to discourage your dog from drinking any stagnant or running water you don’t know to be bacteria-free. Also, when possible, bring snacks or food with so they can replenish their energy as they go.

An active dog is a hungry and thirsty dog
An active dog is a hungry and thirsty dog

Carry around plastic bags for clean up: Nothing’s worse than a steaming pile of dog doo-doo- especially if it doesn’t belong to your dog. One of the best signs of a great dog owner is one that diligently picks up after their dog. Carry some small plastic bags with you on your excursions so that when your pup relieves himself you can tidy up after him and move forward.

Let them rest: After a long hike or fetch session, your dog is zonked. Give them a space in your home that is their sanctuary: whether it’s a nook in the corner with a special pillow or a doghouse they can relax in and recharge, it’s important to give your dog time to rest their batteries in between excursions.

Just relaxing on the beach after a long hike
Just relaxing on the beach after a long hike

Offer rewards: Dogs are extremely loyal and respond well to rewards. Given your dog was well-behaved and focused during exercise, immediately rewarding them with a small treat or new bone is an excellent way to reinforce continued good behavior. It’s also a good way to see their tale wag and watch them trot off to their happy place.

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How to travel as a couple and not kill each other

If there’s one takeaway from the book and movie Into the Wild I will always carry with me, it’s this:

“Happiness is only real when shared.”

When I first starting traveling, I trekked solo for the better part of 2 years. It was great! I was able to come and go as I pleased, see anything I wanted to see at any time of day, eat whatever came to mind and experience total and complete freedom.

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Something that came with that freedom, though, was loneliness. One day as I swam alone at the Cairns Esplanade Swimming Lagoon in Australia, I saw a couple playing in the water together and kissing. I tried to not let it affect me, but it shook me. I was completely lonesome. I wish I had someone by my side to experience all the amazing things I was doing: snorkeling the Great Barrier Reef, hiking in the rain forest, jungle expeditions and meeting new friends.

Later that year I met my current boyfriend Jonathan and we’ve been together ever since. We fell in love with each other and both loved traveling. The perfect storm brewed and we became a couple that traveled full-time together.

Jonathan and I at the Grand Canyon
Jonathan and I at the Grand Canyon

Traveling with your romantic partner is something every couple should do. Traveling tests your limits and expands your mind. Having new and exciting experiences with someone you love keeps things interesting, fresh and fun.

But, all the benefits of traveling with my boyfriend came at a cost. I could no longer saunter into parties and flirt with wild men. Gone were the days of perusing clothing markets (I couldn’t bare the site of Jonathan in the “husband chair” just waiting for me to be done). If I wanted to eat Mexican food, I didn’t stand a good chance as Jonathan prefers Asian cuisine. Times: they were a changin’.

Traveling together as a couple meant learning how to navigate through the ever-changing and exciting world as a team, not solo. I learned a lot about what it means to make a meaningful relationship work even in the thick of it.

Here are some tips I’ve picked up along the way:

1. Make sacrifices: You might not want to hear this, but I believe if you want to successfully travel the world as a couple, you have to sacrifice. You might not to be able to visit a certain site or eat the specific cuisine you had your heart set on. More than once you’ll have to put off getting your haircut or buying yourself a cute pair of shoes because your partner’s ATM card isn’t working abroad. You’ll probably resort to PB&Js for a night or two just to get a private hostel room, whereas before you didn’t mind cramming into an 12-bed room. When you travel as a couple, you have to think of yourself as a collective whole, not as two individual people.

Living in a camper wasn't always easy, but waking up to these views made it always worth it.
Living in a camper wasn’t always easy, but waking up to these views always made it worth it.

2. Practice patience: Whenever Jonathan and I road tripped across the U.S., I was like my dog- my head was out the window and I wanted to stop every hour or two to take pictures, go to the bathroom or stretch. Jonathan was the king of “keep driving,” even at the cost of me whining about “passing up all the sites.” I finally learned that Jonathan was simply waiting for the right moment to pull off so that we could have privacy, use the bathroom AND refuel or find the ultimate scenic spot for a photo opp. Biting my tongue and practicing patience when all I wanted was my way proved difficult, but the payoff always trumped my impatience.

3. Go with the flow: Shit happens on the road. You’ll get a flat tire. You’ll get robbed. You’ll run out of money. Someone in your group will get in a fight and you have to hitchhike home. When traveling, you have to be the master of expecting the unexpected. Letting a little adversity that isn’t anyone’s fault come between you as a couple is a sign of naivitee. To point fingers and blame your significant other during a tough time only widens your gap and decreases the effectivity of safely solving a problem. If you can remain calm and encourage your partner to follow suit, you can take on any challenge with a clear mind.

Sucking it up and finding a way to survive winter before moving to Hawaii
Sucking it up and finding a way to survive winter before moving to Hawaii

4. Respect each other’s alone time: I can’t stress this enough. Yes, you’re in love and you love to do every lovey dovey thing together. We get it. Now that you’re done suffocating, take some time for yourself. I used to get upset when I’d go swimming and Jonathan didn’t feel like getting in the water. It made me feel like he didn’t want to enjoy something with me that I enjoyed doing so much. I realize, now, that his version and my version of “enjoying” vary a great deal sometimes, and some experiences are saved just for me. Those special moments when I can get away and practice yoga, write, swim, go for a jog or do anything that brings me peace is a gift and vice versa.

5.  Make time for just the two of you: You might be thinking: “Make time for the two of you? You’re traveling the world together! What more time do you need?!” Travel is not glamorous. In fact, it’s a full-time job. Between balancing finances, dealing with interesting characters you meet on the road, calling home, arranging stays, dealing with unruly passengers or moody gas station attendants, sometimes you forget to look next to you, see your partner and fully comprehend that you’re in this together. Don’t let the world bog you down. Find alone time to reconnect. If that’s catching a movie together, preparing a meal with each other or simply taking a walk hand in hand, it’s important to find time to celebrate one-on-one the reason why you decided to travel the world together in the first place.

Together in love and travel
Together in love and travel

Are you a traveling couple? What tips do you have for staying sane on the road? I’d love to hear your feedback. 

How to drink like a local in Honolulu, Hawaii

*SPOILER ALERT* This is not a post for the best place to drink a tasty, yet over-priced Mai Tai while fighting for a table at Duke’s in Waikiki. While there is a time, place and clientele for that, I’m gonna spill my ultimate itinerary of a perfect night out with the locals.

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You’re going to need fuel for the night ahead, so start at Yakitori Glad (766 Kapahulu Avenue), a popular Japanese tapas restaurant. Everything, and I mean everything, on the menu is $3.90! Pro tip: Order the large Kirin draft, as the small Kirin draft is also $3.90, just smaller.

What could be better than cold beer and grilled meat?
What could be better than cold beer and grilled meat?

Make sure you order the salt and pepper chicken kabobs, the shrimp, the ahi poke (diced, marinated raw Ahi Tuna), the chicken stuffed mushrooms, stuffed green chili peppers and the wasabi beef skewer.

Now that you’re fueled up and ready to go, head over to Honolulu’s industrial district to Honolulu Beer Works (328 Cooke Street) for a hip, warehouse watering hole serving their own small-batch brewed beer. Pints will run you $6.75, but the beer is great quality, the community seating and ambiance is great and the service is top-notch. Go for a pint of the Sheltered Bay IPA or the whimsically named Animal Farmhouse Ale.

Bottom's up!
Bottom’s up!

If for some reason you didn’t fill up at Yakitori Glad, Honolulu Beer Works has a small, but ono selection of local kine grinds (delicious food).

No need to get back into your car for the next stop. Walk over to Bevy (661 Auahi Street), an eclectic, artsy hand-crafted cocktail place. Pro tip: Make sure you come during happy hour which runs Mon-Sat 4-7 p.m. Here’s why: You can get local beer for $3 a pop, or just start living the high life like I did. I had a $5 glass of champagne and Jonathan had a $5 gin champagne cocktail. Top it all off with $1.50 oysters on the half-shell and you should start feeling mighty fine.

Start snapchatting your friends how hard your life is.
Start snapchatting your friends how hard your life is.

You have to be loosened up by now, but it’s not time to call it a night yet. Next stop? Brew’d Craft Pub (9th and Waialae) is a cool neighborhood spot with a beer selection that rivals many good craft beer bars on the mainland. Pair awesome beer with upbeat funk music and you have a recipe for a fun night. Choose from 20 rotating taps and over 200 bottled beer. We shared a 22 oz.  Big Island Holy Humulus IPA and couldn’t resist an order of their bacon fat fries with homemade ketchup. Round two was some other delicious IPA whose name I can’t recall. Maybe it was time to pack it in.

NAH! The last stop on your itinerary is Karaoke Hut Sports Bar & Grill (909 Kapahulu Avenue). I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t divey, but at this point in the night, this is exactly what you need – trust me. After a few cocktails, nothing is more fun than passing around the microphone to belt out “Total Eclipse of the Heart.” You can rent a private room for $30 an hour or just sing out in the bar space. The beer selection is meh, but at this point, you should gladly switch to Pabst Blue Ribbon and Coors Light anyway.

Pass around the mic!
Pass around the mic!

And there you have it. Make sure to take an Uber home and call it a night…Or just do like the locals and keep drinking once you get home!