Why Helpx Still Excites Me 4 Years Later

It’s been 4 years since I’ve traveled full-time using Helpx.net, but after curiously poking around on their site again, it looks like things have only grown and gotten better and better for them – and for the travelers who use their site.

You might remember this throwback post: Workaway vs. Helpx: Which do you use when planning a working holiday?  This post is actually my most popular to date, and it’s easy to imagine why: Who wouldn’t want to live in and work in paradise (From Australia, New Zealand, Hawaii, Austria, France, the U.S. and more) for a nice family/farm in exchange for somewhere to stay…all while having the time and money to explore?




Check out all of these thousands of listings in Australia.



I’ve used Helpx twice and had the best experiences of my life.

In Australia, I stayed with a family in Ipswich, Queensland, not a far train ride from Brisbane. For two weeks, I had my own room, was fed gourmet meals (the dad was a chef!), was taken to locals-only swimming holes, parks, and beaches. I had the time of my life. All I did was work 4 hours a day/a few days a week, and I had the richest, most local experience ever. I remember one day, while relaxing on their outdoor porch, seeing a flock of wild cockatoos fly by. I’ll never forget it!


This is one of my favorite shots taken near the Gold Coast in Australia. Who took me there? You guessed it: My host family!

Then there was Hawaii, a Helpx experience I loved so much, I still live in the state 4 years later! I lived and worked at a eco-hostel on the Big Island. I picked fruit, built trails, planted trees, but best of all, made amazing lifelong friendships and one-of-a-kind memories. I had free WiFi, and it was under the thatched roof my dwelling I published some of my first travel stories. My time at Hedonisia Hawaii will go down as some of my best memories to date.


Wild tropical flowers foraged from around the property – perfect for Ikebana! Look at those rare orchids! (Left)

If anyone is on the fence about a Helpx experience, I highly recommend you go for it. Pay the membership fee: it’s totally worth it. Weigh the following options:

  • Proximity to a city
  • Transportation
  • Accommodations (Plenty of places offer private rooms and even private bathrooms!)
  • Are meals included? My stay in Australia had meals included, but I was on my own in Hawaii. There were always plenty of shared meals, though.
  • Responsiveness/helpfulness of host
  • Will there be other travelers there to meet?
  • Is there WiFi? Many places have it.
  • How long are they looking for you to stay? Many hosts actually prefer longer guests.

With all the talk nowadays of being a digital nomad, Helpx is certainly a viable way to achieve that. If my lifestyle hadn’t shifted and I was still on the road, I’d do Helpx again in a heartbeat. Please use it and travel deeply!


This post was not sponsored, nor am I getting compensated for it. I really just love Helpx and the memories it helped me create.


29 Things I learned in my 20s


I’m in the last week of my 20s, and the impending 3-0 has been on my mind constantly. In between dreading leaving part of my youth behind, I’ve been contemplating what my 20s were all about. Some days I’m filled with regret and sorrow, but most days, I feel proud and accomplished.

In my 20s, I earned a college degree, had numerous relationships, got my heart badly broken, and admittedly broke a few hearts; I traveled the world and the country extensively and became a travel journalist; I moved to Hawaii, and I’m beginning to settle down. It’s amazing what can happen in a decade. Here’s just 29 lessons I learned from my 20s:

  1. Wash your face every night before bed – No longer can I abuse my face by going to bed with it caked on with makeup. I can tell the difference between my skin now and then. Now I have a whole skincare routine which includes wearing SPF 50 on my face every day and of course, removing my makeup every night before bed.
  1. Some people really are crazy – That’s okay. A writing mentor once told me that back in the 60s and 70s, it was more acceptable to be crazy in an insane world. Do with them what you will. I usually tent to ignore politely.
  1. Don’t let crazy people ruin the good within you – Sometimes you fall in love with, or are really close friends with, what turn out to be crazy people. That’s okay. The best thing about crazy people is that they are often filled with wild, fun ideas and have a great sense of humor. When they start challenging your core values or legitimately don’t want to help themselves, know when to walk.
  1. Talk to the stranger next to you – Life’s too short not to make friends with the everyday people walking this Earth with you. Whether you’re in line at the bank, on a bus on the way to Bondi Beach in Australia, or having a drink at the bar, lean over and get to know your neighbor.
  1. Go confidently in the direction of your dreams – The time is now, not when you’re old, beat up, or saddled down by a career and family. Chase that dream even if it takes you the edges of the world and back. You’ll never regret going there. You’ll only regret NOT going there.
  1. You don’t always have to be the life of the party – This was a hard lesson for me to learn. The first, say, seven years of my 20s was exactly that: a big party. I was moving from place to place, drinking, doing other questionable things…until I realized, I didn’t ALWAYS have to be the life of the party. The party would always be there when and if I want it. It doesn’t need to be a lifestyle (Thank God! It’s exhausting!)
  1. Make the best out of any situation you’re in – Man, I found myself in some hairy situations in my 20s. Perhaps the time I mistakenly took a ride from a local drunk on the Big Island is a good example. Or the time, while living in a camper, we blew out a tire in the middle of nowhere when it was 100 degrees. These shitty situations happen. Make the most of them. They’re not forever (and thank you, guardian angels for never letting anything bad happen to me in the thick of it!)
  1. Dream big – Even if you don’t accomplish all of your dreams, if you don’t set the bar high, you’ll never get there. Make a list, buy a ticket, and make it happen. Sign up for that class. Go on that date. Just say yes.
  1. Trust in the inherent good in people – Remember those strangers you end up meeting? 99% of the time, they’re the ones giving you a ride to the airport, giving you a place to sleep, offering you tidbits of insider information, taking you the doctor when you fall ill. Even those crazy people, in their crazy ways, want good in life, believe it or not. Please don’t believe the media. Yes, rotten people and scary people exist, but good people outnumber them exponentially.
  1. Take care of your body – Women especially. Please don’t fall for ever suitor and every temptation. You will likely pay for it later. Stop drinking so much. Drink plenty of water and exercise. Don’t have unprotected sex unless you’re in a long-term, trusting relationship. Take care of your temple.
  1. Money isn’t everything – but it helps. I’ve had the most amazing memories when I wasn’t working or didn’t have much money at all. What I realized, though, is that those times don’t last. Find something you love doing, a job where you can be utilized to do those things you love doing (even if it’s not your dream job), and make money. Work. Travel. Volunteer. Save. You’ll be happier by the end of your 20s when you have a little money in the bank.
  1. Don’t settle for less than you deserve – It sounds cliché, but it’s true. Don’t settle for wondering if someone is thinking about you. Don’t settle for missing someone without having a plan to see them. Never be someone’s plan B. You’ll suffer, but if you must settle for something less than you deserve (as we all do at some point), learn the valuable lessons from it so you can spot really good when it comes at you later. At that point, you’ll be able to fully, wholly, lusciously appreciate it.
  1. Live with less – Repurpose old things into new things. Don’t buy new clothes for 2 years. Live with 3 pairs of shoes for a while. Live out of a backpack. Own less. See how it changes your world.
  1. Listen to your parents – Their advice is usually right. It might not always be right for that exact moment that they give it to you, but it’s right. Write it down and make it a goal later. They want what’s best for you and they love you. You’re lucky to have them.
  1. Learn to forgive – Forgive yourself for making mistakes. Forgive others for hurting you. In forgiveness, you’ll find peace and happiness. It won’t be easy, but you’ll get there.
  1. Learn to say goodbye – Get good at letting people come and go in and out of your life. Friendships, lovers, family members, etc. It will make you strong to meet many people, and it will make you stronger still to know when to say goodbye and “I’ll see you later.” You’ll learn to survive the next storm.
  1. Do what the locals do – Whether you’re a traveler or not, just DO IT. Hear about a new restaurant opening? A festival? Farmer’s Market? Just go. Do it. Bonus points if you’re a stranger in a strange land and you do what the local’s recommend. You’ll have a more rich experience.
  1. Keep your friends close – Your close friends might change over the years. That’s okay. It’s normal and healthy for people to grow close to others and further from others. Keep a handful of tried and true best friends you can call in the middle of the night when you’re sick, depressed, dumped. Make sure you have people you can rely on in this life. Make sure you love them deeply and they know it.
  1. Exclaim when things are good – When something is delicious, moan with pleasure! Tell your significant other how much you love them regularly. Jump in and out of rain puddles with friends while exclaiming, “This is really living!” Let life invigorate you.
  1. Work with your hands – There’s something extremely gratifying about working with your hands. Don’t do it forever if you can help it, but the lessons you learn will get you very far in any career down the line. After all, who else could say they planted a banana tree, took care of 35 customers at once, or built a lava rock trail in volcanic crater? Make those memories.
  1. Find time to believe in something and practice it – Whether it’s organized religion, prayer, intentions, yoga, mindfulness – find something that regularly connects you to positivity and the divine and practice it.
  1. You always have a choice – If you feel trapped, lonely, bored, abused, etc. Remember: you always have a choice. “Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.”
  1. Things will work out – I’ve been in situations where a lot of odds seemed stacked up against me: where I was worried about my journey, paying bills, and other general crazy things that come at you at life. Somehow, though, it always seemed to work out.
  1. Trust your intuition – It’s never wrong. And when you find out news you’ve been dreading and you’re in the position to get out, be brave enough, and strong enough, to do it.
  1. Protect yourself – Just because you can doesn’t mean you should. It’s good to have a giving personality to those in need, but think twice before you lend out your big heart to those you hardly know and those who may not deserve you.
  1. Learn from your mistakes – You’ll undoubtedly make mistakes in your 20s. I did, and I’m trying not to beat myself up from them as I approach 30. I’m making peace with the crazy shit I’ve done, and I’ve also learned my lessons, as you see them listed out here. The point is this: I can’t say don’t make mistakes, because you absolutely will. Somehow, what seemed like a good or fun idea at the time turns out to be a stupid thing you’ve done. That’s fine, we’ve all been there. The real work is not repeating that stupid mistake. Learn from it. Grow. Now you’ll be better equipped to make wiser decisions in the future.
  1. Find ways to love yourself – Exude confidence. Love your body. Love your mind. Find little ways to pamper yourself and to build yourself up. This is an extremely useful way to not only enjoy your life, but to excel in it.
  1. Cherish the bittersweet transitional moment from youth to adult – It might not be an exact moment like mine, but you’ll likely have a moment where you feel a shift from feeble kid to responsible adult. For me, it was when my grandmother passed away and I was a pallbearer at her funeral. My whole life as a kid, I thought the world was such a mystery and adults had a magical power to orchestrate and understand the world. Then, at 27, I realized the roles had shifted and life was simple. My grandmother, who helped raise me, now needed help from me being laid to rest. She trusted me with that gargantuan and touching act. When I walked her down the aisle of the church, I knew the mystery was solved: there was nothing more to being an adult than taking care of someone else when they needed it.
  1. Set limits and be grateful for what you have – In your 20s, the sky’s the limit, and you’ll try to get there. Maybe you will. By the time your late 20s roll around, if you’re like me, you’ll crave a little normalcy. Set limits on the things you want to become in your life, but still have goals. Be grateful for what you have. And show loving compassion for the life you’ve worked to create.

Hipmunk Hotels: California Dreaming in Half Moon Bay, Venice, Pismo Beach, and more

There’s nothing like a trip to California: dreamy coastlines, amazingly fresh produce, and a laid-back vibe. To get the most out of your stay in the Golden State, consider a stay at hotels in the following locations.

Half Moon Bay via Flickr by mtch3l

Half Moon Bay

Half Moon Bay is located 30 miles south of San Francisco and offers some of the best sweeping coastline views in all of California. Once a place where “rum runners” smuggled alcohol to nearby inns during Prohibition, taking advantage of the area’s coves and dense fog, Half Moon Bay today thrives with a small-town coastal charm — and some of those inns are thriving restaurants today.

A historic downtown district has plenty of shops, restaurants, and galleries to peruse during your visit. You won’t be disappointed in the fresh seafood at area restaurants, either.


There’s never a lack of things to do in Venice Beach, a gathering place for hippies, beatniks, and artists. Try walking up and down the boardwalk, close to your stay at the conveniently located Venice on the Beach Hotel, eating street tacos and falling for a salesman’s latest push. Street performers abound, and this “Coney Island of the Pacific” tempts visitors with amusement attractions, specialty shops, fortune tellers, a drum circle, and more. Don’t forget to gawk at hard bodies at the world-famous “Muscle Beach,” an outdoor workout area.


Venice Beach Boardwalk via Flickr by young grasshopper


Pismo Beach

Pismo Beach, located in Central coastal California, is along the famous Highway 101 and is the midway point between San Francisco and Los Angeles. Known for its “Classic California” vibe, Pismo Beach offers visitors activities like fishing from its 1200-foot pier, wine-tasting, ATV sand dune riding, surfing, and more.

Come in June to walk around the annual classic car show. You can see vehicles from yesteryear in pristine condition along a dramatic coastal backdrop. Or if seafood is your thing, make a visit in October for the annual clam festival.


Back down in Southern California is Oxnard, home to some of the sweetest strawberries you ever tasted. Just a short drive from Los Angeles, Oxnard will have your senses pumping at the California Strawberry Festival every summer.

In addition to its delicious produce, Oxnard is home to the Channel Islands National Park, an outdoor enthusiast’s dream. Just a quick boat ride from the mainland offers ample opportunity to kayak, snorkel, and bird watch around these five islands. You can take guided wildlife tours to discover this somewhat isolated island chain.


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Fresh Oxnard Strawberries via Flickr by Kimberly Mahr


Once a railroad town, now Roseville is a major urban city in metropolitan Sacramento. Pack a picnic and listen to live music for the Music in the Park series. Old Town’s Vernon Street is the place to be Tuesday nights in the summer for music, arts, and food vendors.

Make sure you save time for the city’s largest open market, Denio’s Farmers Market and Swap Meet, to hunt for treasures untold. During your comfortable stay at the Fairfield Inn by Marriott, take advantage of Roseville’s close proximity to the Sierra Nevada Foothills, Lake Tahoe, and Napa Valley.



Spacious Hotels Near NYC in Weehawken, Jersey City, White Plains, and more

This post was originally published on Tales From a Fork by Sarah Kim on June 16, 2016.

If you’re traveling to New York City but want more space and amenities than the average Manhattan hotel, try opting for these accommodations. These spacious hotels are only a quick ride away from the Big Apple.


View of Manhattan from Weehawken via Flickr by John Cunniff


Weehawken is one of the best destinations if you want to see a panoramic view of New York City, from the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge to the George Washington Bridge. Once you’re done marveling at the expansive skyline from Hamilton Park or Gregory Park, you can head to New York City via bus, ferry, or train.

For history buffs, you can visit the infamous dueling grounds site of Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr, which occurred on July 11, 1804. The Weehawken Water Tower is also a sight to see as it dates back from 1884, which makes it the oldest in the state, and resembles the Plaza del Vecchio in Italy.

Jersey City

Jersey City is easily accessible to both downtown and midtown Manhattan through the PATH train, ferries across the Hudson, and busses. It’s close to attractions such as the Colgate Clock, Ellis Island Immigration Museum, and Manhattan Railroad Powerhouse, and gives you more bang for your buck with hotels like the Dharma Home Suites JC, which offers a grand view of Manhattan, a fitness center, and even a kitchenette. There are multiple boat companies for aquatic enjoyment such as boat tours, waterskiing, jet skiing, and speed boat tours.

White Plains

White Plains is a fashionista’s playground with more than 150 upscale stores, such as Neiman Marcus, Burberry, Gucci, and Brooks Brothers at the Westchester Mall. For culinary travelers, there’s Blue Hill restaurant, which is a farm-to-table fine dining restaurant focused on local and sustainably grown foods. After shopping, dining, and exploring the beautiful Kykuit gardens, moving on to Manhattan is easy because it’s only half an hour away.


Kykuit Gardens by Anne Hemond via Flickr

Rye Brook

Rye Brook is a picturesque village that’s a brisk 30-minute drive or hour train ride from Manhattan. It boasts five parks and lush greenery wherever you go. Its number one activity is the Doral Golf Course, where you can get in a full round of golf and stay at the Doral Arrowwood hotel.

This hotel sits on 114 acres of woodlands, providing an all-around haven for relaxation and fun with a nightclub, indoor and outdoor pool, three different restaurants, pub with pool tables, and tennis courts. It’s only 3 miles from the Westchester County airport and includes an airport shuttle so you don’t need to deal with the long lines at JFK or LaGuardia.


Stamford is a thriving metropolis located just 45 minutes on the train from New York City. It’s a popular destination for business travelers, but because of it’s rising influx of great restaurants and trendy bars, this place is becoming the next hotspot for young professionals in their 20s and 30s.

If focusing purely on food and drink isn’t your thing, and your aquatic side wants to shine, head to the Cove Island Park to enjoy the beach, Cummings Park to fish, or Chelsea Piers to swim.

5 Must-Visit Places for Foodies


Parmjit Parmar wrote in her Huffington Post article that the trend in ‘culinary tourism’ has grown massively, where globetrotters are now planning vacations specifically to incorporate culinary delights. With so many destinations to choose from and food to sample, it can be overwhelming to pick somewhere you should consider for your next trip. Here’s how to select a travel destination for your next foodie adventure.



Photo by Feda Wong via Flickr

When it comes to the best seafood rice in the world, we have to hand it to Spain’s classic Paella recipe. Its savory taste mixed with the freshest veggies, shrimp, clams and squid is exactly why people flock to Valencia to try this authentic dish. Although many countries tried copying the rice recipe, there’s nothing like the authentic taste of the original Paella in Spain. It must be the crunchy rice at the bottom of the pan that makes you want to have seconds, and even thirds, of the most flavorful arroz in the world.


When it comes to Asian food, China has become the most common destination for food travelers in search of the best of the best. When delving into dumplings, don’t miss the “Xiao Long Bao.” This juicy spiced pork dumpling explodes with just the right amount of spice, heat and flavor. Although you can find Xiao Long Bao everywhere in China, the best one can be found in Shanghai served with other gastronomic delicacies such as the Sichuan Hot Pot which is ideal for extreme spice lovers.



Photo by Paul Joseph via Flickr

Indian food consistently ranks in the top slots for foodie destinations, and is well-known for its mouth-watering mutton recipes and delectable vegan food. With plenty of delicacies to choose from, wherein each region offers a particular dish, the best way to try all of these treats together is by ordering a “Thali,” or a huge plate full of rice, bread (chapatti or naan), curries, papadums, lime pickle, chutneys and a sweet dessert. No need to order them separately as the whole plate combines each tasty dish for one affordable price.


Looks can be deceiving: The Koobideh Kebab in Iran is a must-try for carnivorous foodie. Made from ground lamb or beef with parsley and chopped onions, the Iranian kebab is reason enough to collect another passport stamp. The classic dish features deliciously fire-toasted meat on a ‘Shish Kebab’ and is served with perfectly cooked basmati rice mixed with a special sauce. Other mouth-watering kebab dishes, as featured by Dream of Iran, will make you want to come back to the country again.




Photo by Lummmy via Flickr

The land of pizza and pasta has to be on every foodie’s list when in search of the best comfort food in the world. Italy is not only visited for its grand architecture, but also for their irresistible cuisine. You can never find another well-made spaghetti carbonara in the world similar to the ones you’ll taste in Italy, especially those from Rome. There are many variations to this dish, but the most popular involves bacon, cheese and pepper.

There are many more destinations worth traveling to for their authentic delicacies, but to start with the list above will you give you a leg up in the world of gastronomical delights.

The above is a guest post.



I was published – AGAIN – in Mabuhay Magazine!

I’ve been blessed these past few months with my freelance travel writing. If I said it once, I’ll say it a thousand times: Hard work and dedication really do pay off.

This is the June feature on Honolulu for Mabuhay Magazine, the Philippine Airlines in-flight magazine. “Honolulu: Land of the Happy” is meant to convey how happy life in Hawaii really is.

For the full readable PDF, click here.


Shine on you crazy diamond: Observations on life nearing 30

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I’ve often thought that in order to speak about anything from a place of authority, you had to be 30, or at least close to it.

Well here it is.

I’m coming up to my 30th year, and things that seemed so impossible to figure out are only now beginning to make sense. Life’s mysteries and lessons are beginning to reveal themselves to me.

The worst thing about your 20s is everything. The best thing about your 20s? Everything.

After I graduated college, I wanted to be “one of them.” I so badly wanted a job in public relations, so I could get someone else’s point across, be a sassy Chicago office girl. Or I would write nonsensical news bits on the Frisky, which now I see how pointless that would have been.

I thought I’d manicure my nails, marry my college sweetheart, rise to the top. In every version of my old self, I was some hard-nosed Chicago bitch that accepted the status quo, or a shitty job, shitty weather, or all three of those things.

Yeah, that didn’t happen.

Now I’m stretching my aching back on mornings before my bus commute to work in Honolulu. My neck has a permanent crick in it, and I’ve already had skin cancer removed. I lived hard and fast in my 20s, and I don’t regret a moment of it.

I got an internship at an advertising agency right out of college. I thought I’d become some savvy marketer, a slick bitch with a grin and gimmick. I’d write copy that’d make the masses swoon.

Okay, so I was more of a fresh-faced, slightly scared, but no-doubt talented writer. Nonetheless, undeserving of the scathing shit scorn I’d get from one of my “mentors.”

Back then, it being my first job and all, after a few months at it I figured everyone just fucked everything up all the time. It wasn’t until now, today, 6 years later, that I realize I wasn’t fucking shit up. I was seen, as most talented and driven people are: as a threat.

Every headline I wrote was bad. Everything I did was sent back. Every press release that looked perfect was met with a prompt email (which made me think she hadn’t even READ it yet) that coyly said “Nice try.”

I put up with it for six months. I wrote headlines and copy that eventually got picked up in print by big clients. But around the time my internship was going to end, and lead to what I thought would be a full-time job with a raise, my bitch mentor told me that they were extending my internship because I hadn’t done well enough, hadn’t performed to their expectations.

I quit the next day. And today, for the first time since I quit that job, I realize that there was never anything fundamentally wrong with me or my headlines. I interned at the Chicago Sun-Times before I got that job. I quickly went on, after quitting, to being published in the Philadelphia Inquirer. I was good.

They were bad: bad leaders, bad examples. SHE was a bad mentor who made me believe bad things about myself as a person, and as a writer, for a very long time.

Around the same time I was tolling away at a place that fucked with my mind as a young writer and working professional, I was hopelessly dumped by my college sweetheart, whom I adored lovingly, out of the blue. I was utterly crushed for an entire year.

I spent so many nights crying in bed, wondering why he didn’t love me anymore. I envisioned a future with him. It wasn’t fair! Beyond fairness though: Again, someone made me believe that I was a bad woman. Undeserving of love.

I did what any self-loathing, but driven person would do – I got out of dodge.

I lived a whirlwind of adventures, was published in tons of magazines and websites, and lived the life of my dreams. I went to places people only dreamed about.

I questioned my sanity on the hard days. Was I really living in a camper, showering sometimes with cold water, getting drunk on PBR beers? Was I really living in a motel room for a winter before I permanently relocated back to Hawaii?

The answer was yes. I did do all of those crazy things, and much more, many things of which I might be too ashamed to ever even write about. But yet, as I’m coming up my thirtieth year, I can’t help but see so many doors from my past hurts and mistakes shutting with closure for good.

Fast-forward to today. I live and work in urban Honolulu, Hawaii. I live in my own apartment, pay my own rent. I have a job in marketing where my boss and the CEO are the most giving, amazing, non-judgmental people I ever met. Wherever there’s a chance to improve, I’m never met with a “Nice try,” but rather, “Let’s work on this together.” Everything I do is beyond appreciated. I’m good at it because I love it, and I love it because they love me and my contributions. I’m in a happy and positive work environment for the first time in my life.

In addition to that, I’m writing freelance travel articles. My clients are big nowadays: Expedia, Travelocity, Mapquest. I used to believe I wasn’t good enough to write for them. That same negative thought even crossed my mind the other day when I was commissioned to write a piece for Travelocity. My old editor said, “I’d love to work with you again. I love your writing, especially your narratives,” and I thought, “She’s just saying that…” No, she’s not just saying that. She believes it. And I finally do, too.

Recently, I had a coming full-circle moment. I casually checked my email on my phone. A typical “People you should connect with” LinkedIn email was in my inbox. Usually I delete these spammy messages, but this time I opened it.

The last person on the list, a LinkedIn 3rd connection (how do they even quantify that shit?), was my ex-boyfriend who crushed me so many years ago.

I felt like I was sucker-punched.

I immediately logged into LinkedIn to find out as many details as my brain could absorb.

I was unusually starved for information, you see. After he so cruelly dumped me out of the blue, we continued “trying to make it work” (admittedly, we just had sex) for a year after the breakup. One day, after having the same fight we always did, he stormed out my house and left me there, crying. I never saw or heard from him again.

Over the years, I tried looking him up a few times on Google and Facebook never to any avail. This was the first time I had confirmation that he was even living in 5 years.

And so, here I am, working my amazing job, living my amazing life (with my incredible new boyfriend, as it is) simultaneously rehashing the hurts of my past, again, via a LinkedIn 3rd connection. How could someone you once knew so intimately, someone into whose eyes you gazed when you professed your love to them, in the same lifetime become a mere third-tier connection on LinkedIn? Is life so bleak?

Turns out, he’s been living a rather boring existence. He transitioned into IT after majoring in English (where we met in college). He worked for a handful of companies in and around the Chicagoland area. He now works at some startup in Denver. He’s bald, unimpressive looking. His picture is devoid of any primary colors, and things are, for him anyway, much of the same.

This is all taken from a LinkedIn profile, mind you, so my assumptions about his life trajectory can only go as far as a 3rd tier connection will permit, but you get the picture.

I was slighted for a few days. I pondered the meaning of it all. I felt a bit sad, and hurt came and went, then came again.

But what I felt next was transcendental. When I really got to thinking about how far I’ve come since he dumped me, I felt assurance that the pain I experienced because of him started me on my journey to finding my life’s purpose. I felt closure.

I am exactly where I am supposed to be. Through the late nights, the cry sessions, the miles traveled, the people met, the jobs had, all of it conspired to bring me here, to this very point, to make these very real musings about the eventually and mysticism of life.

The moral of the story, from what I’ve pieced together through thinking about my early twenties until now, is this: Never let anyone, especially shit suckers and heart breakers, hold you back from the good things you are most certainly destined for in your life. People will be jealous of your successes. They will want to see you sit and listen to the same tape on repeat over and over again (like they do) for the rest of your life. People will dump you and not tell you why. You’ll have a mean boss, a boring job, or any other mess of circumstances in between.

The real work comes in when you decide to achieve anyway. You’ll emerge stronger, and you will reach further in the direction of your dreams. The power was in you all along. Don’t let some unhappy house mom or balding IT guy steal it from you. Bask in your sunshine, sweetie, and let the world see how fucking bright you can shine.